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The Whole Child, Issue #052 - Do the Time
June 02, 2008

MAXIMISING POTENTIAL

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June 2008, Issue #052

DO THE TIME



Site Build It!

1. Hello from Shirley

“If advertisers can successfully target children from birth with spending messages, then parents can and should do the same with saving messages.”

When I read the above statement on a website I was asked to look over this week, I realized again what a huge task we parents have.

The media is blasting out messages that are not in the best interest of our kids at full volume, 24 x 7, but how much time do we spend sending them the message that there are healthier alternatives.

The media says we need instant gratification, I say we value things we wait for more.
The media says we need status, I say we need good self-esteem combined with humility.
The media says we need sex, I say we need a different kind of morality.
The media says we need money, I say we need to weigh the cost.
The media says consumer debt is acceptable, I say there is a better way.

I am sure you get the picture.

I believe that the only way that we parents are going to be able to cement good values into the foundation of our children’s lives, is to spend a LOT of time with them, talking, teaching, reading and sharing about what is important in our lives.

I don’t think that 20 minutes of quality time per day will do it. In fact, I think “quality time” is a term invented to ease the consciences of those that don’t give their kids QUANTITY time!

If we want the best for our children, we can’t give them the left-overs of our time. We need to make hard choices and some sacrifices and DO THE TIME.

  • Do I want the status of driving a new car, but have to work to afford it or am I content with my model from the last century and I can spend time in it going places with my kids?
  • Do I want new furniture in the living room or should I keep the old stuff a few more years and have a family holiday instead?
  • Do I want to live in an upmarket neighbourhood, but live with huge mortgage repayments, or could that wait a few years until the children are older and I have done my time with them?
  • I am not getting on your case – the above are some of my personal choices!

    We have to be available to our children and be good role models if we ever hope to influence them against current trends that are less than best for them. We need to build strong relationships with them and hold their hearts in our hands, or they won’t turn to us, when faced with some of the choices I started with. They’ll just do it the world’s way.

    Don’t think its too soon to start. If you don’t hold your child’s heart now, from preschool level, how will you get it back when they hit their teens, once it is in the grip of their peers? Now is the time to rough and tumble, play ball, push swings at the park, read stories together, cuddle, go for milkshakes and have cosy fireside chats, etc.

    Now is the time to DO THE TIME!


    2. Take a look at Shirleys Preschool Activities

    If you haven’t yet, scroll down the page of Everyday Preschool Science Activities and find something new to investigate with your children in your home and surroundings.

    And don’t forget the special men in your children’s lives – Father’s day is a good time to honour them.
    15 June is Father’s Day


    3. Quote

    Trying to change behaviour will be fruitless without also rewriting what the child believes and says in her heart.

    Turansky & Miller, Parenting is Heart Work


    4. Tips

    We just recently bought our 13 month toddler her first push bike and seeing her and her 3 year old brother whizzing up and down outside on their bikes reminded me how great these toys are for:
    1. burning up the excess energy that kids seem to have
    2. getting out in the fresh air
    3. developing balance and gross motor skills
    4. having fun and developing relationships

    Over the years, with our older 3, we have been through a couple of these plastic motor bikes, but they are reasonably inexpensive and worth every penny invested in them. My advice, GET ONE!

    Riaan (3) and Samantha (13 months)



    5. Opportunity Knocks

    You may think that it is easy for me to ramble on about investing large quantities of time with your children, when I don’t know the financial situation you are in and all the reasons you might need to work outside the home.

    Well, I have found a way to have the best of both. I earn about USD $1500-$2000 (between R10 000 – R15 000) from my site each month, and at the moment, the most I do on it each month is to write this newsletter.

    It took me ten months of working at night from about 8 till late and on week-ends to get it up and running and now it earns me this most welcome PASSIVE INCOME.

    Using the SBI package that I bought, anyone can learn to succeed like I did. They teach you step by step what to do and how to do it. They even give you the tools for coming up with ideas.

    An income-generating website could be your ticket out of the rat race and back to your children.

    Go see. (click on the banner below for more info.)

    Site Build It!


    6. Book Reviews

    1. Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs

    Just like cars need a service from time to time, our marriages also need a tune up every once in a while. Although the message of this book was not completely new to me, the author placed a refreshing emphasis on ways a couple can improve the way they relate to one another.

    I skipped the chapters written to men, but what I found useful was to be reminded yet again that my needs and my spouse’s needs are not the same and that I shouldn’t try to treat him the way I want to be treated. The way we communicate, both in good times and during arguments are different and we need to always be mindful of how we might be sending wrong messages unintentionally.

    This book not only explains what the author calls the Crazy Cycle of Conflict, but also gives you new ways to start the Energizing Cycle that will bring new growth in your relationship. No matter what your situation, you’ll find something to give you new inspiration and new hope in this book.

    2. Parenting is Heart Work by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller

    Having subscribed to their newsletter for some time, which I found most useful, I decided to buy a couple of the Turansky and Miller books and I am really enjoying them. They are not filled with psychology, but rather offer practical tips and strategies for improving my relationships with my kids. Real life examples of situations that others have experience also help to give useful insight into the principles they suggest.

    I have been reminded yet again that its not enough to change my children’s behaviour and dish out consequences for negative behaviour, in addition, I need to reach their hearts so that I can teach them and train their character too. I need to be able to recognize wrong thought patterns or beliefs that influence the way my children respond and their attitudes. Their title couldn’t be better – parenting is heart work!

    Next month I review some more of their books:
    1. Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes...in You and Your Kids
    2. Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids!


    7. Readiness Activities

    The following activities are aimed at ages 2-3. For older children, adapt the activity to their ability or alternatively repeat the activities previously suggested for ages 3-5 in the Backissues of The Whole Child publication. To download the activities in a printable pdf, click here. You will need to have Adobe Reader installed. It’s a free download. Repeat these activities often - with your own variations too!



    June

    1. Gross motor skills

    Body Awareness: Encourage your child to touch different body parts, eg. Head, shoulders, knees and toes, eyes, ears, mouth and nose. If you know the song “Head shoulders, knees and toes, then sing it too and teach your child to sing it.”

    2. Fine motor skills

    Manual dexterity: Let your child begin to learn how to undo buttons. She should be able to undo about 3 large buttons. Let her try closing the buttons too.

    3. Visual skills

    Visual sequence: Place three or four different coloured construction blocks on a page. Ask your child to copy the pattern you created. Repeat the exercise with different patterns and take turns.

    4. Auditory skills

    Auditory discrimination: Teach your child the sounds associated with things or animals that are familiar to her, eg. Moo, says the cow, tick-tock says the clock, cheep-cheep says the bird. Read books about farm animals and make their sounds.

    5. Mathematical skills

    Numerical relations: Use any household items to teach your child to make comparisons:
    Which one is heavier /lighter
    Wider/narrower
    Fuller/emptier etc.

    6. Language skills

    General insight/Reasoning: While looking at busy picture books, play a yes or no game with your child, by asking questions about the pictures that he must answer:
    eg. Is this a cat? Is the girl happy?

    Use objects or concepts that are familiar to your child.

    7. Faith-building

    When training your children, don’t just focus on changing their behaviour. Teach them vocabulary that will help them understand what is going on in their hearts.

    Eg. Instead of only saying, "Share that toy with your brother," you should also tell your child to "be kind and loving". Tell him that Jesus isn’t happy when we are selfish and won’t share.

    Tell your child that whining is does not show honour to parents. A child must rather stop and start over and talk nicely to mom and dad to show them respect.



    Greetings until next month
    Shirley
    About Shirley

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